Book Review: God, You and Sex
This book review was included in the January 2020 Meadowcroft Monthly. For an archive of all book reviews, click here.
We have seen a significant shift in how our culture thinks about sexuality. There have been some good changes and also a lot of bad. Clear, biblical teaching on sex has always been important, and we continue to need wise guides on this matter. David White has written an outstanding new book - God You & Sex - to help us.
David was on staff for years with Harvest USA, an organization that promotes sexual faithfulness among Christians. He now serves as Associate Pastor for Springton Lake PCA just down the road from us.
White does a good job (as the title implies) of showing how sex, and our sexual desire, connects us not just to other people but to God. He quotes C.S. Lewis, who said,
The happiness which God designs for His higher creatures is the happiness of being freely, voluntarily united to Him and to each other in an ecstasy of love and delight compared with which the most rapturous love between a man and a woman on this earth is mere milk and water.
Okay then! But on the other side, White reminds us that sex is a good gift, but not the be-all end-all.
Sexual experience will always be more like a piece of chocolate cake than a source of life. It is a gift to be received with thanksgiving that should lead to a heart of increasing gratitude, but it will not change your life. Only living in a relationship with the Lover of your soul will do that.
Because sex is so important, and because it points us to God, it’s important that the church speaks positively about it (rather than just telling people to wait until marriage).
The otherness of husband and wife, rooted in the proclamation that marriage is about Jesus and the church, is foundational to God’s design. This understanding is crucial for teaching our kids about biblical morality and for explaining our faith to those who do not believe.
It’s still important to talk about sexual sin, but -
While we recognize the severity of sexual sin, it is important to likewise admit that it is universal. Treating sexual sin as particularly terrible drives brothers and sisters dealing with these issues farther underground into shame and isolation… It is because sexuality is so glorious, not that sexual sinners are so despicable, that sex requires such care.
No good topic is off limits for White. He frankly discusses sexlessness in marriage (defined as having sex less than ten times a year), pornography, homosexuality, abuse, gender confusion, and a WHOLE bunch of other stuff. He also devotes a chapter to the important, good and high calling of singleness.
As a parent, I also appreciated White’s encouragement to talk with our kids about sex. White says that he often asks at speaking engagements if the people present who had Christian parents had discussions about sex with them. He says only about 10% have had such discussions. This is too important of a topic for parents to ignore.
White authors this book from a unique perspective. He was married and then lost his wife to disease (they had young twins at the time). He knows what it is to be married, and he knows the challenges and joys of singleness. He is now re-married and knows the challenges and joys of being married a second time! His experience seems to help him write with compassion and empathy while not diluting truth. Highly recommend!